Who are we?

Mark ‘I’m-not-a-balding-Dracula-look-a-like’ Catterall

Mark has been involved with fine foods since he was washed up from a shipwreck off Whitby Abbey all those years ago.  Primarily responsible for sales, marketing and product development, Mark is only too happy to offer helpful advice based on his 170+ years in the business (cuisine of the Carpathian Mountains being something of a specialty).

Mark likes anything gothic, blood sausage, Manchester City FC and sinister organ music.  Mark dislikes direct sunlight, garlic and angry pitchfork wielding mobs. Mark would also like to point out that while Centaur Foods is, of course, an equal opportunities employer, special consideration will be given to applications from pale skinned virgins who are not risk averse.

Adrian ‘They-tried-to-make-me-go-to-rehab’ Walton

An ex-chef whose life story offers real hope to all those other dissolute, good-for-nothing, alcoholic deadbeats out there.  Here at Centaur Foods ‘Ade’ is the person who makes things happen.  Frankly, without him Centaur Foods would be like a British train, a pain to use, late, and carrying only half the food it’s supposed to.

Adrian would like to appeal to anyone out there with a functioning liver to spare.  Apparently his current model is not up to the job.

Debbie 'Go-near-my-computer-and-I'll-break-your-legs' Snow

Debbie is the reason chaos does not reign here at Centaur Foods.  She maintains the company’s accounts and paperwork brilliantly despite Mark’s frequent, if unintentional attempts to sabotage her efforts.  Any and all accounts’ related queries should be directed to her.

When not at work, Debbie likes nothing more than to embark on long gruelling runs, often over rugged terrain, in the most dreadful weather, wearing nothing but a knitted cardigan, tutu and flip flops.  Debbie is incredibly lean, fit and athletic.  Debbie is also madder than a box of frogs.  

The Gang of Five

Currently laying low here at Centaur Foods after their most recent bank heist, the Gang of Five are crucial to the workings of Centaur Foods.  Terry and his team are responsible for the packing and dispatch of everything that leaves our warehouse,…as well as a string of high-profile robberies and at least one blackmailing of a prominent Golden Retriever. The gang consists of;  

Terry – a.k.a The Enforcer
 Katerina – ak.a. The Soduko Killer
 Jane – a.k.a. The Tracy Park Disco Queen    
 Helen – a.k.a. The Wick Wildcat
 Anna – a.k.a. not like all the other kids on the block, not a bit like ‘em.